Ariane’s story

Who: Ariane Paras

Country: Spain

Job: Music Industry Coach

Topics: Stress, anxiety, depression, boundaries, balance

During my late teens and early career working in the music industry in London, I remember feeling under a lot of pressure and feeling stressed and anxious more often than not. I let some of that pressure off by over-drinking and going out, as a lot of my happiness was found on the dancefloor. I didn’t really have the tools or the knowledge back then to ease off the symptoms and address the root cause of my issues.

10 years on, I intuitively knew I had to make a change in order to prioritize my quality of life, and I relocated to a different country which offered a slower pace and more balanced lifestyle. It was tough to start from scratch again on a personal and professional level but it was definitely the right choice for me, and I eventually found my feet and significantly reduced my stress. Taking full responsibility for my experience of life, remembering that I always have choice, and taking decisions that fit with what I value really helps me get out of victim mentality and feel empowered instead.

I landed an amazing job as a club and festival booker and was really happy and fulfilled, despite the downside of working in nightlife and its impact on my health: mostly sleep deprivation and an irregular sleep schedule resulting in always feeling tired, and over-drinking (again). Working in this environment makes it easy to fall into substance abuse but luckily I find it easy to say no and I maintained a sense of balance through exercising regularly – plus, all those hours spent dancing also count as exercise, right? Moving my body feels essential to my wellbeing, especially as I sit behind a desk and get stuck in my head all day long.

As I grew older and following my spiritual awakening, I went through a big professional crisis. I had lost my passion and my job started to feel meaningless. I suppose I was struggling with low-level depression which to me felt like a deep disconnection and alienation from everything and everyone. A dark night of the soul type of experience.

Life transitions can be complicated to navigate and I hadn’t met others in the industry who were talking about this who could be a reference. It took me a while to get out of this limbo and take some steps to reorient my career to something that was more aligned with who I was becoming and with my passion for personal development.

My career change to life coaching helped me recover a sense of meaning and purpose, and quite often helping others is a great way to help yourself. I cannot say that I’m completely out of this transition period and on the other side yet – I’ve been grieving this chapter of my life, a connection to my peers in the industry, as well as my social life, which is so linked to your job when you work in music. I went from having a very social, out-every-weekend lifestyle to isolating way too much, which was not very healthy and exacerbated my feelings of disconnection.

Here are some things that have helped me on my journey:

Having a solid foundation of self-care for my body and mind, that includes things I truly enjoy doing (daily yoga, meditation and breathwork; healthy nutrition; enough sleep;  drinking very moderately – I didn’t drink for 8 months last year which felt good)
Regular coaching sessions
Regular time off and healthy boundaries when it comes to work-life balance
Learning about personal development and spiritual tools and concepts
Being less hard and more accepting and compassionate towards myself
Observing and feeling my emotions fully and not letting my mind make up stories around them
Alternative therapy modalities like family constellations and plant medicine

And some mistakes that I’ve made along the way:
Isolating
Not reaching out to friends and asking for help clearly in a way that could be understood
Not using my tools and techniques consistently and letting myself being dragged down by my negative thoughts

Inner work can sometimes be challenging but the rewards are endless. My journey is ongoing and there’s also no destination I need to reach. I firmly believe that we’re not ‘broken’ and we don’t need ‘fixing’. I like to think of it as continuous inner transformation and evolution. I know that inside of me (and inside each one of us) lies a source of infinite love, peace and wellbeing, that can always be accessed. The key is to be willing to go on that journey of transformation, find the tools and support that work for me and let go of what doesn’t serve me.

May your own journey lead you back to that source within yourself, and may you be happy and free.